My Trip To The Virtual Corkscrew Museum

At first I was like, "Wtf" than I was like....

"WTF...."

After getting over the inishal shock of some one actually taking the time to make an entire website of corkscrews I went to the table of content and was overwhelmed with confusion. Why does a virtual corkscrew museum need a Armory? An aquarium? A tie rack? A china cabinet? And I'm just saying its a virtual museum, they have all of the space in the world, why does the art gallery need to be divided into a West wing and an East wing? It's definitely beyond me. I decided to go to the "About the Museum" tab.

I learned some pretty interesting things about the museum. One thing I learned is, like every museum ever, this virtual museum is old as balls. Created in 1994, witch is like 1894 in Internet years, the museum has had over 28,000,000 page hits and visits from people in over 102 countries. I'm callin bull on that statement. After learning a bit about the museum I headed to the Exhibit Hall.

I saw lots of neat corkscrews in the Exhibit Hall.

These molds made chocolate corkscrews

These were the best corkscrews of 1996

These are "Negro" head corkscrews

These corkscrews are modeled after Gay 90's Bar tenders

Sadly I could not view the erotic corkscrews

After the disappointment of not getting to see the erotic corkscrews I left the Exhibit hall. I continued to the next room, The Planetarium. Why does a virtual corkscrew museum have a planetarium? I have no idea.

After a bit of puzzling I discovered that the Planetarium is home to corkscrews that are modeled after constellations, They have 88 of them. The thing that really puzzles me about this room is that every corkscrew has some crazy design and under them it says, "It is not practical in use as a cork extractor."

How do you even use this thing?

Now I'm no corkscrew enthusiast or anything like that, but if a corkscrew fails to do the one thing that it was designed to do doesn't it than become more a piece of awkward art and less a corkscrew? I'm just sayin...Now on to the Sound Studio!

What exciting adventure awaits us in the sound studio? Well it says that it has sounds of various corkscrews, but have you ever used a corkscrew and heard that pop sound and thought to your self. "Wow that sounds alot like a Sea Lion yelling." Yeah me neither but for some reason Sea Lion, Tiger, Pelican, Santa and Rooster are all on the list. This has pretty much nothing to do with corkscrews at all. Words can not express my disappointment. To the aquarium!

Here I am greated by two viking looking corkscrews named Sven and Knute who are more or less the same guy.

I mean really, you tell me who's who.

So I fallow Sven and Knute through a tour of fish shaped corkscrews, it wasn't that bad. Some of the stuff they said even made me laugh!

I don't think it was the laugh they were going for though.

At this point I decided it was time that I actually try to learn something, So I went to the room titled, "How to collect corkscrews" No offence but how hard could it be? Well hard enough that it had to be devided up into 5 lessons.

Lesson 1

That's it. No joke. There is no text anywhere on this page, just this photo. What i'm getting is you need to be a homeless horder to collect corkscrews. Looks like i'm going to need some cut offs...

Lesson 2

Wait what? This guy seems to be the opposite of the first guy. Alright I'm confuzed. Oh well i'm sure that lesson 3 will clear this up.

Lesson 3

So were back to being homeless again? Wat..Eff this i'm done.

At this point I have had enough of corkscrews for a while and decided that I was going to leave and more than likely never come back again. Because the only thing more boring than a real museum is a virtual museum.

But if for some reason you would like to take a trip to the Virtual Corkscrew Museum, click the blue text.

The Year In Torrents

2010 was a huge year for people who who use torrenting. With bit torrent reporting that around 400k people torrent a day and over 100 million people torrenting a month, and if we throw in the fact that last year they made over $40 million, its safe to say that torrenting is big business.

Shut up.

Now lets ignore that cat and get to the numbers.
My 160 gig ipod has 27 gigs free.
1.91 gigs is being used for videos
0.60 gigs are used for "other"
and 119.4 gigs are used for music
But how much did I get this year?
Well to be exact I got 7,842 songs, or 41.24 gigs worth of music, or 19 days 18 hours 14 minutes and 13 seconds worth of music. Lets get some averages here shall we?
With a total of 7,842 in 2010, thats only about 653 songs a month, or 150 songs a week or 21 songs a day. This may seem like a lot of music, but compared to my 20,889 total songs, or 56 days 4 hours 27 minutes and 34 seconds, thats not much, an if you think that that's a lot compair it to the 400,000 people that torrent per day, or the 100 million people that torrent a month. Now if those people torrent as much as me, thats....thats like 784,200,000,000 songs a year.
No wonder the RIAA is after downloading, utorrent seems to be making more money off ads than the RIAA is making selling music. (Not including there lawsuites)

Your like....

No wonder the RIAA is after downloading, utorrent seems to be making more money off ads than the RIAA is making selling music. (Not including there law suites)

This is a list of the top downloads of 2010, I downloaded 5 of them.
But the question remains, witch 5 did I get?

1. inception
2. iron man 2
3. 2010
4. xxx
5. french
6. avatar
7. dvdrip
8. despicable me
9. porn
10. clash of the titans
11. toy story 3
12. glee
13. salt
14. twilight eclipse
15. dexter
16. the sorcerer’s apprentice
17. axxo
18. robin hood
19. prince of persia
20. windows 7


*My writing is fictional and should be viewed as such