A N00b's Guide To The Internet: Social Networking

Social Networking is something that I never quite understood or liked that much, even though I seem to be the person that these sites would be targeting. A teenage boy with a small social life and a computer in his room, that's the main target right? In theory they sound like a really neat idea, you and your friends have profiles filed with personal information about you guys and whenever anyone wants to be your "friend" you share this information with them. What could possibly go wrong with this?

Myspace was not the first social networking site to ever come to be but it was the first one for me. I'm guessing that when someone started this site they were thinking it would be great, you could post bulletins of information, you could blog you could even customize your profile by using other peoples stuff to express your individuality. Sounds fun, but it really wasn't. The bulletin system, I'm guessing, was supposed to be used to share information for a group of people, kind of like one of the boards that bulletins go on, what are those called again? That is not what they were used for though. You know the those surveys that you would have to take at school? Yeah those suck, what I don't get is that people would do these for fun than post them on these bulletin boards. Do they expect me to read these? I don't care what you had for dinner last night I really don't. Than I stopped and thought to myself, why would some one post this crap? Your putting out more information on a site that's already full of information about you. Don't worry though its all good, it's just your "friends" after all right?

Okay I really can't rag on Tumblr that much because I've never actually used it, but there is a good reason for that. Here is every interaction I have ever had with tumblr and/or its users.

No, and neither does half the world. Nuff' said....Damn hipsters.

Once again, another great idea that just didn't work (for me) Twitter is like everybody in the world got together in one big room and just continually yelled everything that they were doing, thinking, thinking about doing, and things they are doing while they were thinking about things. I mean how much do you REALLY need to know about your friends? Do you really have to know what they had for dinner? Do you really have to know what Ashton Kutcher is always up too? Well more than 1,000,000 people care about that one but that's beside the point. I guess the big problem I have/had with twitter is that it made me realize that my life sucks. Here is an example of my twitter feed.

April 27 5:27
Heading home

April 27 5:45
Makin Mac & Cheese

Than someone response to that by saying something stupid and completely worthless like
"Yummy" or even worse just plane and simple "cool" never capitalized, ever.

April 27 6:30
Watchin @Lost

Once again someone will say "cool" It goes on like that for more or less 5 or so pages until i realized this website was not meant for me.

And finally I come to Facebook. After Myspace kind of died I thought I was done with social networking, but being the absolute social butterfly that I am, I just have to keep in touch with all of my people all over the country. So I set up the account, add a few people than go to bed to pass out. As I awake the next morning I find that I have a few friend requests, for some reason every ex-girlfriend that I've ever had seemed to have found me and wants to "friend" me. Yeah I definitely want to be your friend and see all of the pictures of your new boyfriend and how much better your life is now...That was sarcasm if you didn't catch on. I swear I've got a league of evil ex's. Another thing that bothers me about facebook is it claims it has all of this privacy and wants to keep you safe but I'm just saying, this site lists:
1. Your name
2. Your location
3. Photos of what you look like
4. Who your family is
5. How they are related to you

6. 1-3 about your family

7. Live updates of what you are doing

I'm just saying, if I wanted to brutally murder you and your whole family this website makes it quite easy, I'm just sayin....