My Weekend On The Internet.

The Internet, in my mind, the best thing ever made for any purpose ever. This weekend I spent most of my Internet time on two websites, I would like to discus my findings with you.

Have you ever heard of the website Chatroulette? No? Well I'll give you the story on it. Chatroulette is a site that was made by a 17 year old Russian boy for the reason that he thought it would be cool. But what is it? Chatroulette is a website that pairs you with a stranger from anywhere in the world. Once you are paired with a stranger you video/text/audio chat with them or you can just click the next button and be paired with another person. It is a great site for people to come together a discuss there thoughts in a polite manner, yeah that's a total lie. At any given time the site has 35,000 people on it, about 100 of them have clothes on. Most of the time I was on Chatroulette people were jerkin it, cause you know I just don't see that enough in a normal day. Besides seeing naked dudes I also got a good number of people flipping me off than going away, oh and one time I saw a girl, she skipped me. I saw one more thing that bothered me slightly, it was a room with a dead guy hanging himself, of course I had to look into this a little bit.

The hanging man is not actually a guy that killed himself, In fact its far from it. The hanging man is an art project by "Internet artists" Eva and Franco Mattes. Eva and Franco do these kind of projects and post the best results of there art on there website, www.0100101110101101.org. The artists said that they were shocked by peoples reactions to this project. I think that this one is my favorite of all of them.
The rest of the gallery can be viewed here. As I said early Eva and Franco have a number of projects that they have done, here are my favorites. Life Sharing, What is it? Life Sharing was a project that involved the artists opening there computer to the world and giving the people the ability to view all of there text documents, all of there photos, videos you name it! The project ended in 2003. Traveling by Telephone, what was it? Traveling by telephone was an art exhibit of photos taken of people looking at photos of photos taken from video games. Confusing? Yeah I know, here is an example to help you understand what I'm talking about.

The Game photos are from "Half Life 2" Nerds FTW! (FTW= For the win)

Finally my favorite piece by Eva and Franco, Biennale.py. What is it? It's a computer virus that doubles as a work of art. Pure awesome.

As i stated at the start of this paper, I was on two websites this weekend. What was the other one? It's weird.

Ever see music videos that are so bad that the band in it knows that it's bad so than they don't take it seriously? Ever seen a music video that is just horrible, but the band is dead serious?
This happened when I watched Dennis Madalone's video "America We Stand As One." Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for pride in your country, but this guy takes it a little bit to far. Before you read any further, please watch the music video here. Once at the site just click the tab "Music Video."

Since he did put this on the Internet, there is going to be some haters, a lot of them. So when people hate you what's the one thing that you just shouldn't do? How about post your home phone number on the Internet.
Yeah, I got the Dennis Madalone wallpaper, don't be haten!

I know it's a little hard to see but if you look to the right of the picture of Dennis in a pile of puppys you can see it (1-323-462-2301) Needles to say, I called Dennis to see if he would be interested in playing Ketchikan for Christmas in June. This is how my talk with him went.
Ring Ring

Stranger: Hello?

Me: Hello! Is Dennis there?

Stranger: May I ask who is calling?

Me: Yes, my name is West.

Stranger: Hello West, may I ask why you would like to speak to Dennis today?

Me: I just was blown away by his music and was wondering if he would be interested in playing a Christmas show.

Stranger: (in a very surprised tone) Are you serious?

Me: I'm 100% serious!

Stranger: Well I'll leave a note for Dennis so that he knows you called and I'll have him get back to you as soon as he can.

Me: Thank you.

Click

24 hours pass.

Ring Ring

Stranger: Hello?

Me: Hello, it's West. I called yesterday about Dennis playing a show for us during Christmas in June.

Stranger: Oh yeah hey! Dennis is busy working on Star Trek right now.

Me: (in my head) WTF. (What I actually said) Oh well just makes sure that he gets the message for me.

Stranger: You know that Dennis isn't a musician right? He only wrote that one song.

Me: (Just learning this information) Yeah, that's all we need.

Stranger: So let me get this straight. You want Dennis to fly to where ever you are...

Me: Alaska.

Stranger: You want Dennis to fly to Alaska to play one song for you during Christmas?

Me: Christmas in June.

Stranger: Umm I'll let him know that.

Click


I'm still waiting to hear back from Dennis,I'll more than likely call him every day until he calls me back.

The 12 Awesome-est Things I Could Find On Ebay In One Hour

Ebay. A website that sells everything you could ever want or need (except human organs.) The fallowing is a list of some of the coolest/weirdest stuff I found on ebay in one hour.

The first, and maybe least existing of my findings, PINECONES 120 Large - XL Fresh pine cones (that's how it was written in the ad.) This guy is selling "quality inspected" pinecones straight from Columbia and South Carolina. You know how those places are just known for there pine cones. Oh yeah and he wants $48.50 for the cones than another $43.98 for shipping.

Next on my list is "My soul!" You can bid for it with the starting price of $250,000 or you can just buy it now for $1,000,000. His name is Andrew D. Jordan and he's a 23 year old male. Has this guy not seen the Simpsons when Bart sells his soul? Electronic doors don't open for him! He can't breath on glass to write on it! I don't think that this guy is aware of what he is actually doing here.

Remember that movie Back To The Future? Yeah it was pretty awesome. Know what would be even more awesome though? Having your own DeLorean Time Machine. For $59,999.00 it can be yours! Still iffy about this? What if I told you famous people party in this thing? Awesome right? Wrong. Bret Michaels rode in your car? Awesome! Your car now has every STD known to man!

So you bought your awesome car, some guys soul and some pine cones. But what good is all of this stuff if your alone? Well you don't have to be! Because for a starting bid of $5,ooo dollars this guy will marry you! Seems awesome this guy gets cash for marrying some one just so they can live here. It's like he wins just for being American. Only one thing wrong with this dudes plan. It's illegal. So saying that you will do it on ebay is a pretty bad idea.

Ever have an idea for a tattoo but it's such a bad idea you won't get it? I still want Bowser from Super Mario Bros riding a surf board with sun glasses, and playing Jimmy Pages double neck guitar with the words "Let's Party" next to him. This tattoo is far to awesome for some one like me. For $5,000,000 this guy will sell you the right to tattoo his left arm. From forearm to elbow. "our favorite sports team (I hate the Red Sox, so you could tattoo "Go Redsox!" all over my forearm)... " Are you serious? I spend 5 million dollars and you think your going to get away with a go red sox tattoo? Your at least getting one dick on you.

Ever see movies about the future? You know how in the future all of the guns shoot lasers? Pretty awesome right? What if i told you that you can buy the patents & rights for a BCB laser based firearm on ebay? Well you can buy the patents & rights for a BCB laser based fire arm on ebay. What I'm wondering is, since I'm buying the patents does that mean that I can make my own design for the guns? I think you know where I'm going with this.

One Slightly Used Roll Of Nice White Soft Toilet Paper, $85,000.

End of story.

Let's take a look at the world of art shall we? First look at this picture. How much would you pay for this? Well he wants $21,000,000.00 for this picture. Seems a little much. Than again he's only 22 and probably still thinks that he is going to be something. Silly kids.

So instead of buying a painting why not buy something different? Like a, and I quote "FLYING SAUCER PROTOTYPE MODEL - BOEING.. UFO REAL DEAL" For only $3,750 you can travel in still with your very own UFO. Here is a quote from the description of the product,
"THE BLACK HELICOPTERS ARE NOT HERE YET BUT THE HEAR IS ON IN THE FORM OF E-MAIL THREATS MAKE AND OFFER SOON BEFORE THE MAN SHUTS ME DOWN!"
That sounds like someone I want to give my money too.

It says "Real Deal" in the title, so you know it's legit.

The last thing I want to write about is one of the best. An a letter to JFK's best friend saying sorry for stealing his girlfriend.Because in American, history is made, than sold on ebay.

Why I Don't Take Rap Seriously.

Rap is a form of music, before I even start I want to make it clear that there are rappers out there who are actually making real music. The ones I'm talking about are not.

Now I am aware that there are bad lyrics in every genera of music but rap has got to be up there for just some of the worst song titles and lyrics ever. I would like to take a moment to show you some of my personal favorite. Ever hear of Rick Ross? Me too! He's simply my favorite! What's your favorite song? Yeah I know its a hard one. Right now I'm really into "Hit U From The Back," although "Where My Money At? (I Need Cash)" is pretty good too. You also can't go wrong with "Prayer." Wait a second. Prayer? Like pray to god prayer? Yeah this song starts with Psalm 27, than the rest of it is him praying to god. Rick Ross is not the only rapper to do this though. DMX also includes prayers on his album. Not one. Not two. But five different prayers though out his career. In fact in 2009 DMX was trying to become a TV preacher. Yeah. That's right.

Being a rapper/preacher isn't all that DMX does though. He is also an MMA fighter. Don't believe me?
Although DMX did back out of the fight, it gets better. In his place Coolio stepped in. In a way that's better than DMX. My question is why would anyone want to fight DMX? Do you know how many people DMX has stabbed? Enough to make me not want to fight him. Ever.

I wouldn't know what its like but I'm guessing when your famous you get to a point that you realize that your fame really won't last forever. This has got to be the case with 50 Cent. This guy has his name on everything, including a video game where you get to play as him and fight terrorists in Iraqi.

<---That's 100% real.

In fact, I have actually played this game! A I'm going to explain what happened the best that I can. So you play as 50 Cent. For some reason your playing a rap show in Iraqi, and Iraqi is like a full on war zone looking place. So your 50 Cent playing a rap show in a war zone. Than after the show you go backstage to get your money from the guy that hired you and you find out that he can't pay you. So what's 50 do? He pulls a shot gun out of no where and presses it against the dudes head. The guy tells him that he doesn't have the money but he can pay you in something else. How does he pay you? With a diamond encrusted human skull. 50 takes it and leaves. Now you cruising down what's left of the war zone streets, in your Hummer of course. When suddenly there is an explosion. What happened? Terrorists shot your Hummer with a rocket launcher. Why? Because they some how knew that you had a diamond encrusted skull and they wanted it. You than spend the rest of the game fighting terrorists trying to get your diamond encrusted skull back. I couldn't make this up even if i tried.

Now how could some one who put out a video game this awesome possibly make people not take them seriously? 5o Cent also put out a male make up line, for men who like to,"Pamper themselves." That's just so uncool its going to make people forget how cool he is for getting shot 9 times. That's pretty hard to make uncool.

Ever heard the band Black Eyed Peas? Chances are you have. Ever heard the song they wrote called, I Gotta Feeling? This song has what I am now calling some of the worst lyrics in hip-hop history. The song starts with like a minute and a half of this, "I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good night.That tonight's gonna be a good, good night" That is repeated four times before the song actually starts. Than once it starts random bits of Hebrew are thrown in. "Fill up my cup, mozoltov! Look at her dancing, just take it off." Wow if I was Jewish i would probably be pretty offended that you used a word for weddings and bar mitzvas, to get a girl to take it off. Than later in the song the phrase "Let's do it" its said almost 50 times. Remember how i said repetitive is catchy? Well sometimes its just annoying. I'm also gonna add that it's by far one of the worst Beatles covers i've ever heard.

Books In 50 Words

Green Eggs & Ham is the fourth best selling children's book ever made, Published in 1960 it got this award in 2001. What makes this book so great is that it only uses 50 words. Well 50 unique words, they get repeated a lot. The whole origin of this book is that after Dr. Seuess wrote Cat In The Hat, using 225 words, his publisher bet him $50 that he could not write a book using only 50 words. He showed him. Before I tell you all of the words in the book click this link and try to name them yourself, I got 34/50. Alright the 50 words in Green Eggs and Ham are

a am and anywhere are be boat box car could

dark do eat eggs fox goat good green ham here

house I if in let like may me mouse not

on or rain Sam say see so thank that the

them there they train tree try will with would you

and just a fun fact 46 of these words are of German origin. Now only using these words Seuss wrote a novel. Before you say that this is not a novel I will have to protest by giving you the definition of a novel.

1.

a fictitious prose narrative of considerable length and complexity, portraying characters and usually presenting a sequential organization of action and scenes.

I wouldn't say that the book is of considerable length, but than again nether was the Gettysburg Address. There is character development. Sam is a happy go lucky, for lack of a better word, thing. He is friends with a fox, a mouse and a goat. All Sam wants is to get his unnamed friend to try green eggs and ham, if he tries them he'll like them. Thus characters are given a conflict. As for a sequential organization of action and scenes? Well Sam tries to get him to eat them here or there but unnamed character refuses. Than Sam tries to get unnamed character to eat them in a house, with a mouse of course, unnamed character still refuses. The story continues until it finally ends with a train full of animals crashing into the ocean. Once in the ocean unnamed character decides, "Sam won't leave me the hell alone until I try this stuff." Unnamed character tries them and likes it. That enough action for ya? Now writing a story like that only using 50 words takes skill. So I decided to take some other novels and read the first 50 words unique words and seeing what I can get from them.
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee.


What I got from the first 50 words.

The first 50 words of this book were pretty disappointing to me. There was no killing of mockingbirds, or killing, or mocking of birds, or mocking of birds. Instead I got to learn that the narrator of this book has a brother named Jem. Jem broke his arm one time. After it healed he was worried that he would not be able to play football again, something I'm guessing was impotent to him. Also the broken arm healed shorter than the other arm.


What I predict will happen based on the cover and first 50 words.
Jem will get made fun of at school for having an arm shorter than the other. The other kids will make fun of him on the playground, they will do it enough that a mockingbird will listen to what they are saying and begin to repeat what they say. This will drive Jem to eventually throw the baseball that he hit the leather off of at the bird. After missing the bird Jem goes home disappointed. The bird fallows Jem home and camps outside his window all night. Jem wakes up in the middle of the night and throws the nearest thing he can find at the bird. The nearest thing was his grandfathers pocket watch. The watch gets stuck in the tree and Jem has to find a way to get the watch back before anyone notices that it's gone.

What it's actually about.
The book is actually about perception, and how things are not always what they seem.


The Outsides by S.E Hinton

What I got from the first 50 words.

The first 50 words of the outsiders told me that Paul Newmen looks tough, and the narrator/protagonist does not look like Paul Newmen.

What I predict will happen based on the cover and first 50 words.
Since I don't know the real characters name I'll call him Bill. Bill is a scrawny boy. After seeing a movie staring Paul Newmen he decides that he is going to toughen up so that he can be more like Paul. How does he do it? By combing that hair! Also the comb makes me think of Grease. So I picture at some point there will be singing and dancing.

What it's actually about.

It's actually about a gang of teenage boys called Greasers. So in a way I was right about the grease thing.
I Am Legend by Richard Mathson

What I got from the first 50 words.
Robert Neville is was wrong about somethings arrival, he also has a poor grasp on time.

What I predict will happen based on the first 50 words and cover.
Robert was supposed to pick up his new in laws at the train station, but Robert's famous poor grasp of time stop things from running as planed. Robert is over an hour late to pick up his in laws, thus strengthening there point that he is not good enough for there daughter. The rest of the story fallows all of the wacky events that happen as Robert tries to impress his in laws. The cover of the book shows one of Robert's dreams where he is burning his in laws.

What it's actually about.
I Am Legend is actually about a vampire like apocalypse where Robert is the last man on earth.

The Call Of The Wild by Jack London.

What I got from the first 50 words.
Buck didn't read the news paper that morning, or for the last couple of days.

What I predict will happen based on the first 50 words and cover.
Buck didn't read the papers anymore or else he would have known that wolfs are outside. Buck gets called by the wild to go out on a walk about. While out there Buck gets attacked by wolfs. Like all wolf attacks, Buck dies. The end.

What it's actually about.

Buck is actually a dog who gets taken to Alaska.

Moby Dick by Herman Melville

What I got from the first 50 words.
Some one spent all of there money and is sick of living on the land, so they go to see.


What I predict will happen based on the first 50 words and cover.
Abe Lincoln is sick of living on the land, so he sets out to see to become a pirate. But being out at sea for so long with out women makes men do strange things. Once the crew runs out of money and food they need a way to get quick and easy money. The crew makes an all male adult film called Moby Dick.


What it's actually about.

A Sea captain hunting a whale.

Why A World With Super Heros Would Suck.

Humans create universes in comic books, movies, TV and the Internet to escape the basic truth that there life sucks. Today I'm going to take a look at why a world with super powers and super heroes would suck.

In the Marvel and DC universe there is give or take 10,000 people with powers. That sounds like a lot but than when you cross that with the world population, 7,007,181,595, the chance of you being some one with powers is pretty slim. In fact you have a 0.000143% chance of being some one with powers. For the sake of this paper lets say you were one of the few people lucky enough to get powers.

Lets say that you get to be The Flash. Awesome right? You can run the speed of light! You could run around the world like it was nothing! Only one thing, this could not work ever. Ever heard of friction? Ever hear of friction starting a fire? If you were to run at the speed of light you would burst in the flames from the pure friction of the air on your skin. Lets say as part of your powers that doesn't happen though. Ever drive in your car, see something in the road and quickly slam your breaks. If you have you will notice that stopping at a cruising speed jolts you a bit. This is called momentum. It hurt a bit in the car going 30 or 40 mph, now imagine stopping going the speed of light. Your brain would smash through the front of your skull. Lets say that doesn't happen though. If you were to travel at the speed of light there is no way that your brain could process all that was happening, you would most likely run in to a wall a die. But wait! One of the Flash's powers is that he vibrates so fast that he can run through walls. Yeah that's right, he moves so fast that the basic laws of physics don't effect him anymore. Why would you ever need to go that fast for anything ever? I mean humans can already run 40 mph, isn't that enough?

Okay so you don't have the Flash's powers, what else would you want? How about being telepathic? Think about it you could read peoples minds! Know what your friends are thinking! Stop crime before they actually do it! Communicate with people silently! But wait a second. The human mind doesn't work like it does in comics and movies. Although you may only be consciously thinking about taking out the trash your brain is thinking about pumping blood to your body, noticing whats in the trash, processing the smell of the trash, remembering the feeling of the trash bag, calculating how much muscle to use to lift the bag. That's just one choir from one person. Can you imagine trying to read the mind of some one in a bank or in a some other public place.
I'm not hearing voices! Just other peoples thoughts!

Ever read Watchmen? In the book there is a character named Dr. Manhattan, he was the blue guy. One of his powers was that he was immortal, in other words he could live forever. Sounds pretty sick right? If you said yes than you are 100% wrong. I want you to think about when you were a little kid. Remember how an hour seemed like forever, but now it seems like no time at all? There is a reason for this. The reason is that when you get older your brain begins to process time faster, this is why old people are always saying that so and so seemed like yesterday. Keep in mind that all of this is happening in one life time. Now imagine if you lived forever, give it a few hundred years and another humans life will seem like a snap of the finger to you. Also since you are an immortal you can't die. You get to watch all of your friends and family die, and eventually the planet will die too. You'll still be there, forever. Does that not sound like the definition of hell to you?

Aquaman. A lot of people love him, a lot of people hate him. He's my favorite super hero. You could go underwater forever! Awesome! There is no holes in this guys powers! He can breath under water, his body can with stand the hardcore pressure of the deep depths, he can't go on land for that long but whatever who needs to. Only one thing there is no mention of his skin being special in any way. You might be thinking, "Why does this matter?" Well I'll tell you. When you go in water the outermost layer of skin swells because it is absorbing water. It is tightly attached to the skin underneath so it compensates for the increased area by wrinkling. Your in the shower for like a max of 30 min and you get wrinkles, imagine living under water. Ew. The other down side would have to be what happens to men after being in the water for a while.
"I WAS IN THE POOL!"

The Truth Behind Marshmallows.

Marshmallows, a camp fire treat, an Easter treat and one of the most disgusting things ever made. Well right next to KFC's Double Down. Last night I was enjoying my Strawberry marshmallows, yeah that's a real thing, when a question popped into my head. What is a marshmallow? I already know its bad for me, but how bad is it?


Bad enough to destroy New York City

Marshmallows are made of three core ingredients. Sugar, Gelatin and Corn Syrup. When said like that it really doesn't sound that bad, so I decided to look into it a little more. Lets look in to Gelatin shall we?

Gelatin is a translucent, colorless substance made from the collagen inside animals. Yes, you read that correctly. Gelatin uses collagen from the skin, cartilage and bones of Pigs, Cows and wait for it, Horses. The gelatin companies get the skin and bones of these animals from meat companies that can't use them, it's like a way of making sure nothing goes to waste. Since the collagen is needed to make the gelatin is inside the skin and bones they need a special way to get it out. What might this other way be? By boiling the bones in acid of course! Now please turn your attention to my pie chart.

That 1% is the acid that stays on the collagen. That was a joke.

Sorry vegetarians and vegans, anything containing collagen or gelatin has animal in it. Do you have any idea how many things have collagen or gelatin in it? To name a few, many pill companies use gelatin on their pills to make them easier to swallow. Gelatin is also used on paint balls and playing cards to give them that slick feeling. Any soft drink containing beta-carotene in it. And lastly glue has collagen in it.


Does the cow on the front of Elmer's products make sense to you now?

Lets talk about the next main ingredient in marshmallows shall we? Corn syrup. As the name implies corn syrup is a sugary substance made from the starch of corn. The corn syrup is a lot like gelatin in the way that they are both tasteless. The main purpose of corn syrup is to prevent from sugar from crystallizing. This times into the other main ingredient perfectly. If corn syrup wasn't used in marshmallows than the sager used in them would crystallize and turn into rocks.

So to put this in a better light for you, marshmallows are the parts of animal that the meat companies can't use, added with liquidized corn and sugar. Sounds great. Do you have any idea how many marshmallows Americans eat per year? I'll give you a clue, it starts with a 90. American's eat 90 million pounds of marshmallows a year. That's about 41,000 VW Beatles. How do we eat that much? Lets go back in time for a bit.

In 1917 a Russian immigrant named Sam Born opened a small candy shop in New York that would forever change America. The store was known for selling great home made jelly beans up until 1953. In 1953 Sam made the worlds first peep. It took him 27 hours to make just one peep, and by 1954 peeps were being sold on a mass scale. Now peeps are only sold around Easter, but man, do they sell around Easter. In 2009 peeps sold over 700 million boxes. How could one company even have that many products to sell? To prepair for the Easter sales Just Born makes 5 million peeps per day.

But were marshmallows always this horrible freak of nature food? The answer is no. Believe it of not marshmallows, like porn, have been around longer than you thought. Marshmallows date back to ancient Egypt. Back than marshmallows were made out of the pith of the marsh mallow plant, yeah that's a real plant. The pith would be taken a mixed with honey and sugar than left to dry in the sun. This would harden the sugar in the honey and pith and create a though sugary treat.

So what started out as a natrail treat turned into animal bones a liquid corn. You've got to love modern food right?

The KFC Double Down, as mentioned earlier, two peices of fried chicken with bacon and cheese in between.

Google. And Why It Scares The Sh*t Out Of Me.

Google is used everyday, by almost everyone for almost everything. But did you know that Google does much more than search for things for you? In fact thanks to Google Accounts I didn't even have to make a Blogger account! Once I put in my email address Google put the rest of the information in for me. Google got the information from my YouTube account. How can they do that? Oh yeah. Google owns YouTube and every possible way you could misspell "Google."If that didn't scare you. Just wait there's more.

Like I said Google does more than just search things, and they also know more about you than just your email address. Are you tired of having to type your credit card number every time you buy something online? Google Checkout will remember your credit information for a faster online shopping experience! Is FireFox running to slow for you? Use Google Chrome for a faster, smoother web browser! Tired of having all of those pesky medical records lying around? Use Google Health to keep track of and organize your medical records!

So let me get this straight? Google knows my email address, through that they got my name, age and address. Than with Google Checkout, Google knows my credit card information. With Google Chrome, Google knows every website I go to. And finally, Google gets to know all of my medical information with Google Health?
"But wait! There's more!"

On January 5th 2010 Google lunched the one thing that they didn't already have on you. That's right, Google lunched a phone. Now besides what they already know about you, they have your phone number, your friends phone numbers, how often you call your friends, how long you talk on the phone with them, and maybe, what you talk about.

So now Google knows:
1. Who you are.
2. What you buy.
3. What websites you visit.
4. What videos you watch.
5. Who you called.
6. And what's wrong with you.

What else could they need to know? How about where you are? With Google Earth you can view anywhere in the world from almost every angle. How could Google do something like this? Well I'll tell you. Google has a satellite in space, wait two satellites in space. The whole reason that they are there is to watch you from space. Not scary enough for you? Look at this picture.
You might see nothing of importance in it. See that guy a little to the right of the center? That's my father. When we first used Google Earth we looked up our old house, than switched from the satellite view to street view, we couldn't believe this! Earth isn't all that Google is watching. Google is also watching the Moon and Mars. Why? Because Google is big brother, and big brother knows all.

With Google Earth Google knows:
1. Who you are. And where you are.
2. What you buy. And where you bought it.
3. What websites you visit. And where you visited it from.
4. What videos you watch. And where you watched it.
5. Who you called. And where you called from.
6. And what's wrong with you. And they've got a video of how it happened to you that they posted to YouTube.

Good thing they're poor right? Wrong.
Google made $1.5 billion dollars in the second quarter alone. That's around $4 million dollars a day. So now the company that has all of your information also has a ton of money. Does anyone else think that Google would be the ultimate James Bond villain?

"First we watch you. Than we murder you with sharks with firkin lasers on there firkin heads!"

So in other words, Google has pretty much taken over the world without anyone noticing.
Know what the worst thing about this is? There is almost nothing you can do about it. By simply using the Internet Google wins, every ad you see gets them money. The only way to actually beat Google is to stop using the Internet all together. So if you really are going to try and beat Google all I can say is that your a stronger man than I.


The Amish. The Few. The Proud. The fighters of the good fight.

How Porn Secretly Runs The World

Before you even start this paper I want you to close your eyes, well not really because you need to read this, but think of the internet. It’s massive. 182 million websites (according to Google in 2009). 182 million is a lot. Now I want you to think of all of the different websites you use daily. Check the news, email, Facebook, Google. Whatever it is you kids are doing on there. Now picture all of the Internet again. 66% of it is porn. Yes you read that correctly.

Porn is inescapable. Every second 372 people are searching for porn on Google or some other search engine. Every 39 minutes another adult film is being filmed in America. In 2009 13,588 adult films were produced, that’s 37 films out per day! Does it really come as a surprise though? Whether you like it or not it is a big industry, making $97.6 billion dollars in global revenue. That’s almost $100 billion dollars. Let me show you how big that number is, 100,000,000,000. That’s more money than everyone who reads this paper will make in their life, put together. How does an industry like this start though? I mean it didn’t just come out of nowhere.

In fact porn is older than you might think. It can be traced as far back as the beginning of mankind! But it was not the modern concept of pornography until the Victorian Era (1837-1901). Lets take a trip to the Paleolithic age. Here you would find cavemen, primitive hunting tools, and crappy houses that were actually caves. In these caves was art all over the walls! Pictures of epic hunts, early religious beliefs and people doing it. That’s right some of the oldest art in the history of man was people drawing themselves naked on the wall.
If we time travel forward to Europe in the 1500’s we could see some of the greatest art that the world has and will ever see! With prints becoming less expensive it was not uncommon for people to have them in their house. Pictures of important historical events, past and present rulers, and more people doing it. These are drawings; very detailed I might add, of people having sex. Is that really something that you would want to decorate your house with? Jump forward again to 1839.

1839 was a year of great importance. The first opium war started, the first electric telegraph was sent, and Louis Daguerre invented a new way to print photos so that they would take better quality and detail and would not fade with time. One of the first things that people thought was, “great! We finally have a way to capture the female form in detail!” What they actually meant was, “Awesome! I’m going to take pictures of naked chicks and make a magazine!”


It’s not porn! If it’s in black and white it’s.called photography.
Than a few years later in 1880 with the help of photographs and Halftone pornography hit a new medium, the magazine. The magazines would feature prostitutes and woman in brothels as models, naked of course. In the 1940’s the magazines would start to feature larger pictures of woman that would be pulled out of magazines and posted on walls by World War II solders, this what coined the term “pinup.”

The next thing to come out was the technological advance, the motion picture. Right out of the gate the first thing made was porn. The film was called “What The Butler Saw.” It was a film that was shot through a keyhole in a door, through the hole could be seen a woman getting undressed.




This is the man you can thank for adult films, think of him next time you watch em.


Now if you will think back to the late 1970’s and early 1980’s there was a war going on. Not Vietnam or the cold war. The war between VHS and Betamax. Both of these were fighting to become the way that people would view home entertainment. We know now that VHS won the war but do you know why? Yes that’s right because of porn. The porn industry decided that it would only release on VHS, this crushed the Betamax market and brought in VHS. It happened again not to long ago. When Blu-Ray was up against HD DVD, Blu- Ray won for the same reason. So in a way the porn industry is deciding how we view our entertainment.
Keeping on the topic of video entertainment if you look at the chart with this paper you can see the growth of the porn industry to the film industry. Since 2006 more people have spent money-viewing porn than viewing normal movies. Take that Avatar!
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Another thing to think about is Avatar cost almost $500 million dollars, they had to invent new technoligy, they had to rent expensive equipment, they had to spend millons on CGI sepecal effects. The average adult film costs around $300 to make. Buy some lights, a camera and were good to go! What I’m getting at here is that these movies are almost 100% profit. So why not make one? What do you have to lose? I mean $97 billion dollars….
Further reading led me to find out the Californa is the state the produces the most adult entertainment in the world.









You just couldn't stick to normal films could you?

Its not just Hollywood that is making these videos. A city called San Fernando Valley. Not only is this town where most of the porn in the United States is filmed, this is the town that practically invented the adult film. In other news California is currently trying to press a law making violent video games illigal. Nice going.


Another thing to look into, as I stated earlier, every second 372 people are searching for porn online. That’s a lot of people. That’s enough to be the number one thing that people search for online. That means that more people are looking up porn than anything all the time forever! Well wait that’s wrong. The only time that people used the internet to look up something else besides porn was during the 2008 presidental election when, for a full 10 mintutes, people looked up “Obama”. Good job humanity, we aren’t 100% lost… yet.