Why A World With Super Heros Would Suck.

Humans create universes in comic books, movies, TV and the Internet to escape the basic truth that there life sucks. Today I'm going to take a look at why a world with super powers and super heroes would suck.

In the Marvel and DC universe there is give or take 10,000 people with powers. That sounds like a lot but than when you cross that with the world population, 7,007,181,595, the chance of you being some one with powers is pretty slim. In fact you have a 0.000143% chance of being some one with powers. For the sake of this paper lets say you were one of the few people lucky enough to get powers.

Lets say that you get to be The Flash. Awesome right? You can run the speed of light! You could run around the world like it was nothing! Only one thing, this could not work ever. Ever heard of friction? Ever hear of friction starting a fire? If you were to run at the speed of light you would burst in the flames from the pure friction of the air on your skin. Lets say as part of your powers that doesn't happen though. Ever drive in your car, see something in the road and quickly slam your breaks. If you have you will notice that stopping at a cruising speed jolts you a bit. This is called momentum. It hurt a bit in the car going 30 or 40 mph, now imagine stopping going the speed of light. Your brain would smash through the front of your skull. Lets say that doesn't happen though. If you were to travel at the speed of light there is no way that your brain could process all that was happening, you would most likely run in to a wall a die. But wait! One of the Flash's powers is that he vibrates so fast that he can run through walls. Yeah that's right, he moves so fast that the basic laws of physics don't effect him anymore. Why would you ever need to go that fast for anything ever? I mean humans can already run 40 mph, isn't that enough?

Okay so you don't have the Flash's powers, what else would you want? How about being telepathic? Think about it you could read peoples minds! Know what your friends are thinking! Stop crime before they actually do it! Communicate with people silently! But wait a second. The human mind doesn't work like it does in comics and movies. Although you may only be consciously thinking about taking out the trash your brain is thinking about pumping blood to your body, noticing whats in the trash, processing the smell of the trash, remembering the feeling of the trash bag, calculating how much muscle to use to lift the bag. That's just one choir from one person. Can you imagine trying to read the mind of some one in a bank or in a some other public place.
I'm not hearing voices! Just other peoples thoughts!

Ever read Watchmen? In the book there is a character named Dr. Manhattan, he was the blue guy. One of his powers was that he was immortal, in other words he could live forever. Sounds pretty sick right? If you said yes than you are 100% wrong. I want you to think about when you were a little kid. Remember how an hour seemed like forever, but now it seems like no time at all? There is a reason for this. The reason is that when you get older your brain begins to process time faster, this is why old people are always saying that so and so seemed like yesterday. Keep in mind that all of this is happening in one life time. Now imagine if you lived forever, give it a few hundred years and another humans life will seem like a snap of the finger to you. Also since you are an immortal you can't die. You get to watch all of your friends and family die, and eventually the planet will die too. You'll still be there, forever. Does that not sound like the definition of hell to you?

Aquaman. A lot of people love him, a lot of people hate him. He's my favorite super hero. You could go underwater forever! Awesome! There is no holes in this guys powers! He can breath under water, his body can with stand the hardcore pressure of the deep depths, he can't go on land for that long but whatever who needs to. Only one thing there is no mention of his skin being special in any way. You might be thinking, "Why does this matter?" Well I'll tell you. When you go in water the outermost layer of skin swells because it is absorbing water. It is tightly attached to the skin underneath so it compensates for the increased area by wrinkling. Your in the shower for like a max of 30 min and you get wrinkles, imagine living under water. Ew. The other down side would have to be what happens to men after being in the water for a while.
"I WAS IN THE POOL!"